Reflection!

Having come so close to idly watching my dreams slip away before me, I pulled myself up by the boot straps and decided that this month - September - I would turn it all around.  I wasn't going to Quit.  I wasn't going to ignore the situation. I was going to do my damndest to manifest a change in my circumstances, or at least go down with one final and huge effort.  So I let out my cry of desperation and hope - "I will change - I will change things and I NOW CHOOSE to turn my fortune around THIS MONTH". And then in my thoughts, a rather weak voice utters......"and if I don't I will just go and get a 'proper job' - I must take responsibility for this mess - I must look after my family."

It was official - I had hit the bottom!

Well I have to say that my determination does appear to have paid off.  I think the 'PsTB' (Powers That Be - for the uninitiated!) were watching to see what I did next - and if positive they might just help.
First - I had a brill day at the Handcrafted in Bedford market - very profitable for the purse - I was very happy.
Then, though the Potton Show did not manifest some immediate financial reward, I did make a contact who was interested in selling my jewellery and in my teaching for her.  More on that later - but a very fortunate new contact and I dare to say - potentially a new friend!
More commissions for stud and clip on earrings have come in from The Stani Gallery - so extra work there.
The workshop on September 18 at Raleigh House (council Adult Education) is actually going ahead - it has been a long haul - but finally there has been enough interest - so that is good to.
And then finally - having given myself a good talking to - I have programmed in my own workshops for 2011 - all set and now on the website.  Yes they are more expensive than those I teach through Tudor Rose Patchwork and Adult education, but then I am also taking on the responsibility of providing a suitable training venue and advertising them, and they are not subsidised by the govenment or adjacent businesses - so taking all that into account - you can see why they cost a little more. 
Why would people come to my workshops when they can get me cheaper elsewhere? - I will be honest in saying that this does concern me - but then my workshops do compare favourably to other private PMC tuition available - so I am trusting that there is a market for all my classes - regardless of whether they are organised by me or a third party.  Trusting the PsTB!

So all in all - it looks like my fortune may just be starting to improve - and I am very grateful.

However.......LOL........

The result of the sudden influx of work.....of my realising that I might actually have indeed turned things around........that I may not have to get a proper job after all.......that I might actually succeed and continue my dream....... why I am in a complete state of panic! - 'Rabbit in headlights' springs to mind! LOL
I feel like all my demons (though I recognise that maybe there are still a few lurking in the shadows!) have risen to the surface to deal with.....like NOW!

So - rather than sticking head in sand or running in opposite direction - I am Trusting that I am up to this challenge.  That step by step I can achieve everything. That I recognise there is always room for improvement - and I shall get there soon. And Finally - that Everything is Exactly and Divinely where it is Meant to Be!  So with that in mind - No Worries!

It is what it is - and I am so happy to be 'In this Moment'.

Bright Blessings to Everyone
Jane
xx